Cultivate Purpose with Self-Pleasure

It’s easy to lose sight of your purpose or even let others dictate your path. The struggle to make ends meet often takes precedence and we forget what sparks joy and passion within us. We set goals according to what we think we “should” do or what makes sense on the surface.

Pleasure is one way to tune back into your desires and what excites you. You can start by being mindful of your pleasure, noticing and practicing gratitude for small things like the sun warming your skin or stretching after a luxurious sleep. If there are certain moments in your day that you look forward to or enjoy, even if it’s just a morning shower or taking your bra off when you get home, you can focus on replicating those feelings more often.

This ritual puts pleasure center stage to help you goal set with intention. Do it anytime you need to reacquaint yourself with what gets your pulse racing.

Time commitment: 20-30 minutes

Items needed:



Chakrub, yoni egg, or pleasure tool of your choice (optional)

To begin, set up your space so that it is inviting and comfortable. You might play mood music, light a candle, or outfit your bed with soft, clean sheets. Wear something that makes you feel sexy and relaxed. Place your journal and pen within easy reach.

Gently rub your arms and legs to get blood flowing. Feel free to use massage oil or lotion if that sounds good to you. Focus on bringing life and energy into every part of your body. Roll your wrists and ankles, wiggle your toes, and allow your hips to rotate in sensual circles.

Treat this part of the ritual like a meditation and let your mind wander. When you are tempted to follow a trail of thought simply label it “Thinking” and release it. Continue to breathe deeply, letting your breath flow outward to every inch of your body.

Once your body feels loose and limber, you can start to give attention to your pleasure zones, beginning to tease the neck, nipples, genitalia, and buttocks. Experiment with different types of sensation and affirm your ability to bring yourself pleasure as different body parts respond to your touch.

Begin to bring a little bit of focus to your thoughts. Continue touching yourself as you ask yourself, “What excites me?” The responses might be broad at first, but allow yourself to follow the threads. For example, you might start thinking about nature and being outdoors, which might lead to thinking about travel and places you’d like to see.

Next, ask yourself, “What am I ready to release?” As you continue touching yourself, think about how good it will feel once this cord is cut and you are no longer under its control.

This exercise allows you to connect the dots of your desires to explore them in a range of ways. For example, you might decide that you are ready to release control, but this could apply to different areas of your life. There might be a stressful situation that you need to let go of, but perhaps this leads you to thinking about how much you would like to release control through consensual power exchange, which might bring forward excitement or pleasure.

Notice which answers spark your arousal. Start to let yourself fantasize about what it would feel like to realize these visions. What if you could bring this excitement into your everyday life? What sort of doors might it open for you? How empowered will you feel once you’ve released the thing that’s been holding you back?

If a key phrase or theme has been coming in throughout this ritual, you might hone in on it while you work towards orgasm. Otherwise, you can continue using the “What excites me?” and “What am I ready to release?” prompts for insight.

You may conclude the self-pleasure portion of this ritual after you have reached your personal definition of climax.

Afterwards, using the same prompts, journal the answers that came through and expand upon what they might mean. What actions can you take to invite more excitement and passion into your life? What will assist you in releasing what no longer serves? Outline three actions you can take this moon cycle to help you remain on the path of your purpose.

Feature Image by Alexandra Kacha ft. Abe Heath

Author: Danielle Dorsey
About: Danielle Dorsey is a regular Chakrubs contributor who writes our monthly tarotscopes, new moon rituals, Chakrubs Current and edits most of Chakrubs editorial content. She is a freelance writer whose words have appeared in GirlBoss, LAist, Travel Noire, Lonely Planet, and more. Danielle has five years experience as a tarot reader and is a certified reiki master in Usui and Tibetan techniques. Danielle’s work centers around ancestral healing and helping those with marginalized identities achieve peace and wholeness. To check out Danielle’s writings visit and for more information about her tarot and reiki offerings visit