Accessing Surrender Through Different Modes Of Feeling

What do you envision when you think of the feeling of surrender? For many of us, this concept evokes different meanings, visions, and sensations. 

At its core, surrender is the antithesis of resistance. It can be related to the softening, the expansion, and the acceptance that we emit when releasing all resistance to a feeling, thought, or thing. 

Bring attention to the vision your mind conceives when it plays with the concept of surrendering. Do you feel a softening in your body? Do you envision a place that emits a specific feeling? These are all clues to the areas of ourselves and in our lives we are being called to release resistance to. 


Surrender and intimacy

One of the most common areas of resistance (and strongest cravings for surrender) exists in our intimate bodies. This makes sense as the flesh of our intimate bodies holds onto some of our deepest protection mechanisms. They also house some of our most intimate feelings and memories. Think about the almost immediate response of emotions, reactions, and thoughts that occur when someone touches our intimate flesh. Do you feel fear? Do you feel insecurity? Or perhaps you feel numbness – often a misunderstood protection response. 

By practicing healthy, genuine surrender under the touch of our own flesh, the energy of surrender will carry over into all other areas of life. In this piece we will be exploring four different modes of surrender, some of the most common ones, and how we can access these more easily in everyday life. 



Many relate the feeling of surrender during intimacy to submission. Submission is a double-edged energy. The experience of healthy submission can be freeing and very nourishing. On the other hand, unconscious submission in intimacy can lead to feeling disempowered and like your body is not your own. 

The relationship you have to submission during sex is reflective of the degree at which you submit to life. Do you submit with confidence, power and grounded trust? Or do you submit to life out of fear, lack of confidence, and apathy? When we submit with empowerment, we are opening ourselves to a person or process that can take us deeper than we can go alone. 

If you wish to practice more surrender in your life via submission, here are some ways to explore this mode: 

  • Set an intention with your partner to have sex where they lead and you consciously forfeit control
  • This can be a classic dom/sub experience or something more sensual where your partner experiments with your body’s different modes of pleasure
  • Practice days where you hold no expectations for what will happen or what needs to happen
  • Whenever you receive a rejection or someone says “no” to you, practice breathing in and opening your body even in the face of the block
  • Do daily stretches in doggy style positions and visualize breathing in through your root to take in all of life through your body. 



Although we all crave bliss, it’s common to hold deep rooted beliefs that prevent us from fully experiencing it. In relation to surrender, bliss is the mode of removing our blocks to pleasure and joy. Surrendering to the truth that we are worthy of experiencing joy. Our most natural mode is bliss and can be bliss.

Many of us forget or deny that sex at its root can be a direct path to bliss. If we are willing and able to surrender to all that wants to come through us, we can reach the very root of bliss through pleasure. This takes work and commitment to feeling without judgment. The journey to bliss is acceptance for all that is, which is no easy feat. 

Here are some ways to rediscover your capacity for feeling bliss and everyday pleasure:

  • Reflect on your childhood joys. What simple joys brought you profound happiness? What things made you feel the most at home and at ease? Incorporate more of those things into your life.
  • Rediscover the pleasure of food. When eating, eat slowly, eat with intention, and eat with pleasure.
  • Taking 20 minutes to tend to the details of your environment. Doing things like lighting a candle and taking the extra steps to beautify your space can make a huge difference.
  • Take a candlelit bath with salts and oils. When you’re done, take the time to slowly rub down your entire body with oil. 



Tapping into the mode of creation is the act of believing in our abilities. This takes surrendering to our creative voice and allowing it to take over. This also includes silencing the inner critic and ego. All modes of surrender require a strong foundation of trust. And there’s no greater battle of trust than trusting our own creative process to allow our unique expression to come through. 

When we create, we surrender to something greater than ourselves. Whether we envision that to be the “muse”, source, God, or a sense of inner freedom, we surrender. This is a powerful intention of letting go that is not easy to lean into.

If you find yourself struggling to completely release into your creativity, these are some practices to try out: 

  • Even if you are not a singer, practice singing from your chest and belly and fully releasing your throat chakra.
  • Set aside time to free-write without self-editing in your mind. This can even be a journaling session where you just let the words flow.
  • Find a way to create with your hands. Cooking, painting, pottery, gardening are all beautiful options.
  • Spend time with symbols of creation. Things like nature where flowers and fruit trees are blooming, with a pregnant friend, or in an arts district filled with creative energy and expression. 


These are just three modes to explore the energy of surrender, but there are many more. Your relationship to surrendering in intimacy and life will shift as you do. If you desire to channel more of this energy into your life, try bringing awareness to everyday practices where you feel more restraint and tension. Work on reflecting what things allow you to let go of these restraints and sink more deeply into the submission, bliss, and creative power of surrender. These are your rituals back home.


Feature image by Cece Di Paolo

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